so I got in this funky mood and got on Twitter and seemed to have stirred it up. so in case you don’t do that, here it is. the series i call…
hey you kids get off my lawn
#1: hey young bands. don’t use in-ear monitors at a club. it looks stupid. quit it. you ain’t bon jovi.
#2: ok especially txreddirt bands … if you gonna steal a riff and write a song, don’t make it as obvious as ‘stranglehold.’ jeez.
#3: don’t say your influence is townes and then write metaphor-deficient medium-tempo trite sing-alongs. leave that to me.
#4: don’t do walk-on music at a club gig. it’s hokey. cut the sound for 3 mins before you go on so the crowd can’t compare you to other bands (that are better than you).
#5: right now maybe having tasty guitar chops isn’t as important as being on the tx music chart, but someday it might be all you have and will come in handy.
#6: even at some gigs if you think of me as an old whore still turning tricks … you need to know I ain’t faking it .
#7: when in a music store and you want to try out a guitar, plug it into an amp … don’t ask if they got a mirror.
#8: by the way, if i was a young band and wanted to have a bus and laminates i would probably not take my advice.
If you are a young band these are meant to be suggestions only … but if you jump out of an airplane with a parachute, it’s suggested you pull the rip cord.